I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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