i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
