I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
