Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
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New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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