I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
