You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
