I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
