i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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