New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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