If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize