have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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