I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
