That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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