He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
