Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
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Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
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I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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