i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize