I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
