there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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