thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice