it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.