just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
