You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
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why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
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i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.