Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.