Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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