I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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