that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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