I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
