You're so nebulous sometimes
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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