even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
