I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
