Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I AM VODKA MAN
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
