just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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