This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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