p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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