I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
