drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Come see our sink grown plant.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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