I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
