glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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