I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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