About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She bit a glass in half.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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