i need an iv and a liver transplant
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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