yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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