Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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