Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
no you cant smoke seaweed
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
