So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
