How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
