If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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