Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
