please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
