just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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