So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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