guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
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he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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