she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
