Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
