Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
