Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
