he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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