We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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