Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
