Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
